Carrying Invisible Baggage: How Past Experiences Shape Our Present: A New Way of Looking at Mental Health and Healing
- Tiffany Whyte
- Sep 4
- 5 min read
Imagine sitting at your desk, your shoulders tensing instinctively at the sharp ping of an incoming email. In that moment, the weight of the past seems to press down invisible hands on your present. When we think of what makes life feel heavy, it’s easy to point to visible stressors, such as work deadlines, parenting responsibilities, or financial worries. But many of us are carrying something far less visible: the weight of our past.
This invisible baggage can include trauma, childhood experiences, old coping mechanisms, or patterns we developed just to survive. Even when we try to move on, that baggage can quietly shape our emotions, behaviours, and sense of self.
For those living with ADHD and trauma, the weight can feel doubled. ADHD brains often crave stimulation and struggle with focus, while trauma changes how the body perceives safety. This combination can manifest physically as an accelerated heart rate, shallow breathing, or muscle tension, making it feel like walking uphill with a backpack no one else can see. Recognizing that this weight exists is the first step in learning to carry it differently.
Why Invisible Baggage Matters
Invisible baggage is more than an idea; it’s the way the past continues to live in our nervous system, our emotions, and even our physical health. A quick reaction to criticism, an inability to rest, or a lingering sense of “not enough” may not be about the present moment at all. Take Jordan, for example, who freezes at friendly feedback. Each critique, no matter how benign, stirs a memory of harsh words heard long ago, making it difficult for Jordan to distinguish between past and present.
Dr. Gabor Maté often speaks about how trauma is not just what happened to us, but what happens inside us as a result of those experiences. That “inside us” piece is the baggage we carry. It manifests in the way we react, the fears we hold, and the limits we impose on ourselves, even when those reactions no longer serve us.
When we name invisible baggage, we reduce shame. We stop calling ourselves "lazy" or "too sensitive" and start understanding that there are reasons behind our struggles. It is a courageous act that connects us to our shared humanity, reminding us that naming our burdens is a step many take and not a personal flaw. This shift matters because awareness is the foundation of healing.
How Invisible Baggage Shows Up
Invisible baggage rarely announces itself. It shows up in subtle, everyday ways—until we pause long enough to notice.
Emotional sensitivity: What seems like a "small issue" to others can feel huge. Imagine a simple exchange over something trivial. "You forgot the milk?" turns into "I always mess up!" in an instant, because an old wound reopens, making the current moment heavier than it appears.
Self-doubt: Past criticism or rejection echoes in the present, whispering “I’ll fail again” or “I’m not capable.” These thoughts can keep us from seizing opportunities.
Exhaustion: Carrying what others can’t see, masking ADHD struggles, managing trauma triggers, or simply holding everything together, consumes enormous energy. By the end of the day, you’re depleted, even if no one else noticed your effort.
Relationship strain: Misunderstandings or defensiveness can arise because old patterns are playing out. What appears to be “overreacting” is often a survival response learned long ago.
Our invisible baggage is not just about what happened in the past; it’s about how the past continues to shape today.
4 Ways to Begin Lightening the Load
Before diving into practical steps, take a moment to ground yourself. Notice your feet on the floor, feeling the support beneath you. Let this pause invite calm as you explore the following ways to carry your invisible baggage with more ease.
Name What Feels Heavy: Often, we carry so much without even realizing it. The first step is simply noticing: “This reaction feels bigger because of my history,” or “This exhaustion makes sense—I’m carrying more than most people see.” Naming removes shame and brings compassion.
Soften your self-talk: Language matters. Instead of asking “Why can’t I just get over this?” try reframing: “It makes sense this feels hard—I’ve been carrying it for a long time.” These small shifts retrain the brain to respond with kindness instead of criticism.
Share the load: Baggage gets heavier in silence. Share one piece of it with someone safe, a friend, a therapist, or a community. You don’t need to tell the whole story. Sometimes, saying, "This has been heavy for me lately," is enough to feel a little lighter. Just the other day, I found myself overwhelmed with an unexpected personal challenge. I reached out to a close friend and simply said, 'I’ve been dealing with something tough this week, and it’s weighing on me.' The act of sharing, even in this small way, helped me breathe easier. Remember, opening up about your own experiences can inspire others to share theirs too.
For those who may not have someone they feel safe confiding in, consider writing your thoughts down in a journal. This can serve as a private, reflective space to explore your feelings. Alternatively, online support groups or helplines can offer anonymous support and understanding from individuals who may have shared similar experiences. These resources ensure that everyone has a path to feel heard and supported.
Create small anchors: Healing isn’t about giant leaps. It’s about grounding moments that remind your body it’s safe now. That might be a daily breath practice, a walk outside, a calming playlist, or a sticky note on your mirror that says “I’m doing my best.” Consider other anchor ideas, such as gentle stretching exercises to release tension, or the mindful sipping of a cup of tea to refocus your attention on the present. These practices can help you find what works best for you, allowing for moments of peace even amidst the chaos.
Healing isn’t about giant leaps. It’s about grounding moments that remind your body it’s safe now. That might be a daily breath practice, a walk outside, a calming playlist, or a sticky note on your mirror that says “I’m doing my best.”
Reflection for September
Taking time to reflect can help bring invisible baggage into the light. Here are a few questions to consider this month:
What weight am I carrying that others may not see?
How does this baggage show up in my body, my emotions, or my relationships?
What’s one compassionate step I can take this month to carry it more gently?
Even writing down one sentence in response can begin the process of awareness and release.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone in This
Carrying invisible baggage doesn’t mean you’re broken; it means you’re human. It means you’ve lived through experiences that shaped you. While you may not be able to set everything down at once, you can choose to carry it differently.
Every small act of self-compassion, each pause, each reframe, and each grounding breath moves you forward. Remember, healing is not about erasing the past; it's about choosing a lighter, kinder present. As you take these daily steps toward growth, consider how your journey might inspire others to do the same. Extend this gentleness to someone else today—perhaps through a kind word or a listening ear. By doing so, you contribute to a ripple effect of community healing, reminding someone else that they, too, are not alone. If the invisible baggage feels overwhelming, seeking professional help is a valid and courageous step. A therapist or counsellor can provide guidance and support tailored to your experiences, helping you navigate and lighten the burdens you carry. You are not alone in this journey, and professional resources can be an essential part of your healing process.
Want to Learn More?
At Beautiful Simplicity Therapy, we integrate body-based healing with trauma-informed support for neurodivergent individuals, caregivers, and those navigating complex emotional landscapes. If this blog resonates with you, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to do it alone.
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